A year ago, I came across the blogger on twitter known as Metanomad. He wrote blogs on Accelerationism and promoted the works of Land, Deleuze, and others to discuss ideas surrounding Capital and Modernity. When I first saw his posts on Exiting Modernity, I was lazy and didn’t feel the need to dissect or “consume” his content because I disagreed with his writing style, felt it was too condescending for my taste and thought it was another gimmick to buy into another system of beliefs. (To give the reader a bit of my background, this was a stage in my life where I was completely cynical, I use to believe and conform to certain ideologies that attempted to make sense of the world, to give me a purpose to live for some cause so others could prosper in the future.)
Fast forward to today and it’s New Years’ Eve 2019, rolling into 2020 and it just so happens that I finished reading and rereading his series of essays complied into a pdf so that it would be easier to read at lunch breaks during work. These essays helped in explaining the thoughts that I’ve had for a long time but couldn’t explain if someone asked me to. The repetition of pointing out age-old problems of grief, loneliness, and despair in an age of growing uncertainty leads the author to grab the attention of his audience that to solve them you must take action for yourself. His advice wasn’t meant as a command, rather it was to point the reader in the right direction, to find yourself within modernity and to learn how to live alongside while resisting it.
For me, it wasn’t too long ago where I once feverishly believed in egoism only for that to fade away in fears of trying to prop up a cult of personality. But even before that, I stumbled for most of my life trying to belong in a certain group or circle of people. From High school to Twitter, I was desperate in need of attention and surely enough, dopamine rushes came and went and it would drift into hours of distractions and drama each day that meant little to no value on me personally.
So I tried to conform and find a place for myself, I moved away from my family in an attempt to start a new life with strangers that I barely knew. Within two weeks, I was back to the place where I started due to mistakes both on my part and on my roommates. Then something changed when I came back to my family, I started being more responsible for myself and to others around me. I stop being on Twitter for a while by deleting the app on my phone, I started saving money from my paychecks and most importantly started learning how to survive and deal with other people in a kind way These were just a few positive traits, but they’re all adding up over time to discover a person that I’ve never known for a long time. As I write these words, it’s late at night and I sit here listening to the fireworks outside on a chilly night filling up with squabbles of snow rushing to the ground. In my house are me and my cat playing with her toys and just enjoying the moment of being in the present.
With that said, I would recommend these essays, you can find them here. As for me, I know they’re problems that need to be dealt with but for now, here’s to a happy new year. Cheers.